Friday, April 17, 2009

Packing

Wow this is coming so fast now!  I leave Thursday morning to start the final leg of this journey.  I just read the post about Cade and it still makes me so sad to think about.  The boys still talk about him often and draw pictures of him or for him.  When I last talked to the adoption coordinator she said I could possibly go to him while we are there.  I don't know if I can, I want to but I am worried that I may never forget what I see and what if it's not as beautiful and peaceful as I see it in my mind.  Would it be healing or would it be pain, I just don't know.  This trip is already so emotional and intense, it's only 4 short days and then we leave Ethiopia and head home.  My babies need their Mommy focused on them but so much of them is from him, I just don't know....I will never get this opportunity again and I feel like if I leave without going I may always regret it.  Boy this post turned a different direction didn't it.

2 comments:

Heather said...

Knowing you, that may be the type of closure that you need. And no, you won't have another chance to visit him. You will have to see what type of time you have. If you have the time and think of it, then it is meant to be.

Coco said...

You probably won't ever regret going but you might regret NOT going. Trust your instinct once you are there. You may feel very strongly one way or the other once you are in country. You'll know.

I hope you have a wonderful trip! I've been thinking about you all week as you are getting ready to go. What an exciting time! Take it slow and absorb every experience you possibly can! Can't wait to meet them!