Beauty

The prefect song

About a week ago I got an email from our adoption agency...no, it's not what you think. She was giving us a website of a family that is in China getting their daughter, when I visited their site I linked to another that I could add music to my blog with. It took a few days for the perfect song to come to mind but here it is. You should be hearing it right now too if I did it right!



I Knew I Loved You(by Savage Garden)
Maybe it's intuitionBut some things you just don't questionLike in your eyes I see my future In an instantAnd there it goesI think I found my best friendI know that it might sound More than a little crazyBut I believe I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into lifeI knew I loved you before I met you I have been waiting all my life
There's just no rhyme or reasonOnly this sense of completionAnd in your eyes I see the missing pieces I'm searching forI think I've found my way home.I know that it might sound More than a little crazyBut I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you I think I dreamed you into lifeI knew I loved you before I met youI have been waiting all my lifeA thousand angels dance around youI am complete now that I've found you I knew I loved you before I met youI think I dreamed you into life

Perfect isn't it.

The Wait...

The wait is excruciating.

I never imagined we would be 9 months into it and have no clue when we would be getting our referral from China. I have good days and bad as do most waiting parents. For some reason right now it is very difficult. We thought that Mia would be here for Christmas this year and now it feels like we would be lucky if she is here next year. Hopefully that is being pessimistic, but honestly we have no clue. I think about her all the time, I have been spending time redecorating a room for the girls, Payton has spend almost the first year of her life in a boy bedroom. Well it's pink now and it's very girly. I thought that we would need to get Payton settled into the room and then make a switch to a bed before Mia gets here. Payton can be very strong willed, who am I kidding Payton IS strong willed. I am a little worried that she won't want to give up her crib if we wait until Mia gets here so we will be ready in advance. Lord knows we have enough time. We are going to be talking to Santa about a bunk bed set that we saw, it would be perfect for their room. I will post pictures of the room when it is done.

I thought that taking the time to do this would occupy my mind and make it easier, the truth is it is getting harder. It seems like she is always on my mind because I am working on the bedroom that will be hers and Payton's. Last Friday China celebrated the Mid Autumn festival (Moon Festival). October 6 was the time the moon was at it's largest. We looked at it Thursday and Friday night, my thoughts were all of Mia and her birthmother. What was she thinking, this is a day for family reunion in China. Does she know that there is a family right here waiting, longing for this beautiful baby girl? Does she know how loved she already is. The love we feel for this child we don't even know is amazing. It makes me so sad to think that as I sit loving her so much she could be laying in a crib in an Orphanage crying for someone to hold her or rock her. Is she cold, is she hungry does she just want to hear a loving voice...The closer we get the further away the light at the end of the tunnel seems to get.

Preschool days again!

Why is it so hard to let them go? It's not like he is my first child or my last but the first day of preschool was terrible. I wanted so badly to stay with him and just watch as he took it all in but I had other obligations and was unable to stay. Maybe that is why it was so difficult, I felt like I was robbed of something and it hurt. I watched as Colton went into the classroom happy as could be and I tried, man did I try to hold back the tears but nothing worked. I stayed long enough to make sure he was ok and hooked up with his tutor and then I had to go. I cried the entire way home, I am sure the kids wondered what the heck was wrong with me. I put on some kid music and pulled over to call Chad. I know it was hard when Wyatt went but he was so ready and it was so exciting for both of us and when Jaxon went I was a little nervous but still I knew that he was ready. With Colton it was something different, I was really excited for him but sad for myself. I was missing the time that I have with him every day and the love that he shows me. Maybe I am a little worried that he will become more independent and not want me as much anymore once he realized there is more the life then Mommy. I can't say for sure... Chad convinced me to go home calm down play with the kids for a little bit and then go back to the school and watch for a few minutes. That made it much easier, it was nice to see him involved and happy. His preschool teacher promised me she would not break his spirit, not that she could but it was nice to hear! Colton had a great day, the next day on the way to school he told me "mom you don't have to be sad, everything will be ok" I thought I covered pretty good on the first day, I guess I was wrong! And just think I have 3 more to go, how will I ever make it?

More soccer pictures

Wyatt is on the Bulldogs, he loves it this year! He is very loud when he plays, directing others imagine that!





















This is a preview of Halloween, Grayson as the Funky Chicken! Don't worry I do have something to go under it he won't freeze!

Out of Touch!

Soccer has consumed us, we haven't had time for much more then that lately. Not much happening to post either. Here are some pictures of Colton and Jaxon. Colton is on the Orange Tigers and Jaxon is on the Hurricanes.

Payton is kissing everyone right now. I attached one that shows her kissy face, she hasn't got the pucker figured out yet but I think this face is better anyway!